Tuesday, May 02, 2006

A*D*O*P*T*I*O*N*

Being both adopted in a very closed adoption that I don't thing was healthy AT ALL And a mother to a beautiful daughter I placed with an adoptive family almost 16 years ago which IS very open this word adoption means two different things to me. Today on one of the groups I belong to they set it up for us to write what adoption means to us and this is what I wrote.

A nother option
D ividing families
O penness is the only way
P rotecting children
T ool when needed
I ntense emotions on all sides
O nly when there is true love between all families
N ever should be closed in anyway

There’s my shot at it. Hope it doesn't offend anyone. Please remember that I feel adoption is great when a woman makes that decision on her own and when the families have love for one another. That a child doesn't grow up in the dark or feeling uncomfortable wondering about what everyone wonders about naturally. When a child can get the answers they need from the right source their mothers and fathers, natural and adopted. When it is needed and allowed to be open it is a successful way to save a child’s chance in this world but when it isn't it can ruin what chance there may have ever been.

10 Comments:

At 4:44 AM, Blogger Mia said...

There are so many feelings about adoption that our words are bound to offend someone at some point. This is your blog so don't worry about it. I like your honesty and your perspective.

Maybe I will give it a go. It sounds interesting!

Have a great day!

 
At 2:28 PM, Blogger Highlander said...

Please keep on blogging.

 
At 2:21 PM, Blogger richmontwithnicole said...

Come back! First, I loved this post. It was really well written and I liked your thoughts. Second, you haven't posted in forever....


Hope all is well!

 
At 12:27 PM, Blogger Thomas Brooks said...

Here is a happy story, and a link to the picture of author Thomas Brooks: http://www.alphamultimedia.com/images/Thomas_Brooks_300_dpi.tif



Life wasn't easy for eleven-year-old Thomas Brooks. As a young boy in an African American family, he battled racial stereotypes at school even as he searched for a place among his peers. In A Wealth of Family: An Adopted Son's International Quest for Heritage, Reunion, and Enrichment (ISBN 0977462935), Brooks tells of growing up in and around Pittsburgh as the only child of a struggling single mother. And in the midst of life's normal chaos, she suddenly revealed to him that she was not his biological mother but that she had adopted him shortly after his birth in 1966. He subsequently learned that he was also multiracial.

It was these revelations that would ultimately change the life of Mr. Brooks. Although he put thoughts of his biological heritage on hold as he made his way through high school and college, he eventually decided it was time to learn about where he came from. He was twenty-five years old when, after a few months of thought, he decided to search for his multiracial biological parents. It was 1992, during his last semester of MBA studies at the University of Maryland.

"Even though I had known of my adoption since I was eleven years old and had a very good relationship with my adoptive family," Brooks writes, "I had a growing need to know more about my biological background and my mixed race heritage. Because I knew nothing of my biological parents and their heritage, I felt somehow that my own human identity was partially lacking." He compares this sentiment with that of many African-Americans whose family heritages were erased by centuries of slavery, but points out that in his case, even the previous generation was a mystery.

What this introspective and earnest young man learned was anything but ordinary. "I have discovered that there is a great deal in my multiracial heritage of which to be proud," he writes. "There is the courage and integrity of my Kenyan father. The odyssey of my ancestors on my biological mother's side, who escaped the murderous persecution of the Orthodox Russians against Lithuanian Jews, is impressive and compelling. There is my individual piece in the large and grand African-American experience, growing up in a dynamic family in Pittsburgh."

The book details his subsequent trips around the globe, to Great Britain where his biological mother lived with her childrenhis siblingsand to Kenya where his African biological father lived, which proved to be life-changing journeys for Brooks. It is a story, he writes, that he hopes will inspire readers to explore their own lives, cultures, and relationships.

This moving saga of adoption, reunion, and multiracial heritage delivers an insightful viewpoint on multicultural families and wonderful anecdotes on how to triumph over racism and poverty.

Thoughtful and well-written, A Wealth of Family is actually a wealth of inspiration. It is a must read for anyone with a strong sense of family.

 
At 5:33 AM, Blogger Highlander said...

Dear Shannon,

I just sent you the email. look forward to your reply.

HL

 
At 2:33 PM, Blogger Ziomal said...

Very nice! I like it. play simulation games online

 
At 7:12 PM, Blogger AdoptTalk said...

Hi, I'd like to share with ya'll a new and very important book about adoption:

The STORK MARKET:
America’s Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry
by Mirah Riben
Foreword by Evelyn Robinson


Projected Release Date: Feb 15, 2007

ORDER YOURS NOW!

www.AdvocatePublications.com

Stork mar·ket. (stôrk märkt) n. 1. exposé of the corruption in the adoption industry; the fine line between black and gray market adoption; scams, coercion and exploitation. 2. an in-depth report on the international market where children are the commodity being bought and sold to the highest bidders including pedophiles with prices based on quality (i.e. age, skin color) of the merchandise and set as high as ‘desperate’ consumers continue to be willing to pay. 3. an examination of the myths of adoption that put the needs of adults, and those who profit from their desperation, before the needs of children who need homes. 4. an extensively researched and documented book that asks if adoption can be fixed -— the money aspect removed and government controls and regulations put in place -— or abolished in favor of permanent guardianship, or informal adoption sans the issuance of falsified birth certificates. 5. goes further than Riben’s groundbreaking, award-winning “shedding light on…The Dark Side of Adoption” (1988) which was excerpted in Social Issues Review Series, Utne Reader and Microcosm USA. 7. reveals, for the first time in print, Riben’s role in the notorious Joel Steinberg murder case.

__________________________________________________

“Riben has done it again. Once again, as in Dark Side, she has pulled back the covers and exposed the unpleasant truths and problems that need to be addressed in American adoption practices. While difficult, when we remove the rose-colored glasses many view adoption through, the conclusions that Riben comes to are inarguable. Most impressive on every count….well researched and thought out.” Annette Baran, M.S.W., L.C.S.W., co-author The Adoption Triangle

Mirah Riben writes that she refuses to give up. This book -— a wonderful and well-integrated mix of approaches—part analysis, part case studies from the front lines, part handbook, part up-to-date law and policy review -— is a testament to Riben's powerful and enduring commitment to the rights and needs of vulnerable women and their children. Riben's book is a clear, bright blueprint for change. Rickie Solinger, historian and author of Pregnancy and Power: A Short History of Reproductive Politics in America


“Combines the historical and legal perspective with really hard hitting journalism.” Maureen Flatley, political consultant and media advisor specializing in child welfare and adoption

 
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