Friday, January 13, 2006

All those things you guys are wondering about

I haven't been as focused on giving the remaining story of my daughter and finding my family on this blog as I should. I've gotten several emails telling me "What next"
So even though I don't have a bunch of time to write here today I will give you all a quick overview of how it's been.

My daughter is now 15 years old will be 16 later this year (2006) Like WOAH! I can hardly believe that. We have been in constant contact over the years. I have had years in there that the communication hasn't been great, more because of me be disappointed with myself and trying to figure out my own life. 'I'm a mess with my life, have been for years,' this is why this was the greatest choice! My daughter is comfortable with having a different family than most she know's we all love her. Her parents did adopt another baby just a couple years ago and tryed to have it open, the mother hasn't been a huge part of their lives yet. The beautiful thing is that my daughters adoptive parents will have that door open always and forever for her, so when she does get it together and wants to know whats going on with her son they will have NO problem with that. They are the most beautiful family in the world, I'm truly blessed. The thing is I believe with all my heart that more people can live like this than do if they were educated about how great it is for the children.

Finding my natural family! It has been the best thing to happen to both my mother and myself. We are very close! We talk all the time. There are things about her I wish I could change and I'm sure she could say the same, but hey couldn't you say that about everyone you know. The thing is we ARE family and that will never change. My father, was an exchange student from North Africa. When I found him (which by the way is a CRAZY story, they guys from my local gas station found him then emailed me, talken about, I have good news about your family call me right away) he nevery denied me. He never said lets get a blood test or anything. He "said" he didn't know. My mother tells me that she talked to him while she was in the hospital. So thats his own demons that he doesn't want to say that he knew I was here this whole time and never told anyone. Whats important is that from that first moment I spoke to him on Christmas Eve 2000 I have felt like him and his family are my family. I don't talk to them as much as my mother but I could feel it. I did meet his brother that lives here in the states and he has been nothing but WONDERFUL to me everytime I talk to him and the one time I stayed with him.

This is the thing with placing my daughter and finding my family, the reason it has worked out is because nobody, not me or anyone else involved has held on to feelings of guilt, greediness, selfishness or anyother negitive feeling that would bring it all down. It is all about LOVE, we all LOVE eachother! Even my daughters adoptive mother and my birthmother and my natural uncle and so on and so on. LOVE LOVE LOVE is the answer we can't think about ourselves all the time or we won't enjoy life. I'm here to live and love and thats it!

I hope this gives a quick overview of what it's been like, keep the questions coming and if you can fill out my questionnaire for me, please drop me a line!!

Love Shannon

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