There are several issues I want to sit down and write about and can’t seem to find the time. I’m overwhelmed with the response I’m starting to get!! It’s amazing and I can’t believe the stories people have shared with me.
I have been copying and pasting different quotes that people have written me…non-identifying of course) that I want to share. I want to give a quote and then give you my point of view about these particular issues. I think this may be a good way for people to see where I stand on things and what it is I’m really trying to do out here.
Most people thought there can’t be many girls out there that both had been adopted and choose adoption when they found themselves pregnant. Many people over the years have thought that me having such a great situation with my daughter is so unique. As if we are so special that most people can’t have it the same. (????) I beg to differ. The difference is that we have chosen to stay open and love one another and guess what many other people have also:
“I am a Birth Mother who has a soon to be three year old. The adoption was not initially open but his parents and I changed that”
“I am both an adoptee and a birthmom. I have made adoption plans for my two boys over the last two years. I have open adoptions with both families. As for me, I am just finding my birthfamily.”
“I’m a birthmother, and I’m okay with the term maybe because I have a healthy relationship with my Birthson’s family. I don’t care what I’m called as long as I am called. =)”
“I myself am also a birthmother and an adoptee. I recently placed my son in a very open situation and could not be happier (for the child, for me, and for his new family)”
“I am actually both an adoptee and a birth parent. I am still actively searching for my Bfamily”
“Hey, I am both, also,”
For now I just wanted to show you all of these quotes from beautiful women who have written me. We are not all so unique and alone in this. I almost wonder that if it wasn’t for an adopted child growing up and choosing adoption if adoption would have ever become open? Those of us who know the pain of not knowing, we know that the choice was for us to have a better life, and it probably was. But we also know the pain not knowing caused, so when it came our time for messing up we knew that we would give our children better lives but we wouldn’t make them feel that pain of not knowing?? I don’t know who started the whole open adoption thing but I’m betting an adoptee that decided that placing would be best for the child would be at least one of the major movers on this movement.
4 comments:
Open adoptions were started by the agencies and social workers who watched the back lash of closed adoptions make the numbers of available babies drop.
Basically they needed a new way to keep women interested into placing their children.
It certainly doesn't solve all the problems..and I think we need a heck of a lot more than love to make it better. Don't mean to be a downer, but...reality is..kinda a downer at times.
The fact is though that open adoptions are Way more healthy for the child. Just because it doesn't solve the entire problem doesn't mean it is not progress.
Beyond the many books that have been published...me and more families than I can could give you our evidence in our life experience. You look at my daughter and tell me that she is not 1000 times better off than I was at her age in fact better than most girls her age. Confident, secure and beautiful! I know because I lived it.... I need no more evidence than that...I'm sorry if you do...others can do the research for that if you need it.
And actually this is one of the many things I would like to prove with the 500 completed questionnaires I'm trying to get.
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