In no way am I saying that all hurt natual mothers that have responded to me are bitter bitter woman. I apreciate the responces from those mothers that share that. I understand and hate what the system has done to so many people... including me as a child from a very closed adoption, my natural mother that was forced into placing me. I understand and support those feelings. What I am referring to is the women who hate me and hate what I'm saying. I'm not the enemy!!
I want to make positive change.
Do these woman really think there can just be NO adoption? And if they do when do they think thats going to happen? Until then should we not try and make it as good as possible for these children? I mean really should we not try and do the best we can for the children that are being placed. I know there are people who are forced into adoption...this is not good, I do not support that. But for those women who have made me the enemy its as if they don't believe that anyone could actually choose adoption on their own. Some people are not in a place to raise a child and do want better! Yes there are people like that out there. It is for those people I speak. I don't want to take children from peole who don't want to place their children. I don't want to make single parents feel bad, I'm a single parent. I am just trying to make the situation as good as I can see it when the option is choosen.
Yes I agree adoption can be confusing for a child but when the family is both adoptive and natural the childs whole life it is just part of life. Divorce is confusing for children, when you have open loving relationships children will grow to understand. It's confusing when a child is left in the dark then finds out something new, when they know this their whole life it is the life they know and they aren't that confused off of it.
I never said Love= Adoption I said that Love is the answer of making it a better system than it is today. Eliminating Selfish, Greedy, Jealous feeling and doing nothing but LOVE this is what makes it work.
Where did I say Love=Adoption???
I don't get this do people only read like 2 words per page? I'm adopted I know how hard and damaging it is to be a child from a closed adoption, with adoptive parents that wouldn't talk about it, with adoptive parents that are completly oposite from me in EVERY way. The whole purpose of this is not to talk people into adoption but to share with people why it needs to change, I know because I lived it.
1 comment:
Thanks for seeing through everything. You have a point and I've thought about it for a little bit and I'm thinking that those people who are jumping all over me are not going to have any part of adoption no matter what I say. The people I need to touch are the future members of this adoption triad. We need to make their experience better. I can't change what people have done in the past to these people. I hate it, it makes me very sad (my natural mother is one of these people) But I can hope to touch people who are going to adopt in the future so that they see how important it is that the natural mother has a part in the childs life ALWAYS. In one way or another. I feel very positive about what I'm doing and I can't change the world. There are lots of parts of the adoption past and present I want to change, but my focus can only be one thing at a time and for right now I want natural families and adoptive families to learn to love one another to make it the best for that child. I can't make everyone happy!
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